I can't help it. I am not shy or reserved when it comes to personal stuff. I don't get embarrassed or grossed out easily. I mean, I pop pimples and do Brazilian waxes for a living. Most people would be grossed out. Once when I was doing extractions on a young girl with acne, her zit popped with such force it flew and landed in my nose. And I didn't even freak out.
So back to missing church. I have been off the pill for months now. My cycle has been regular up until this month. I was 5 days late. I had my hopes up thinking, "this was it". I didn't want to take a test because they have only been negative and I always get so let down. Now, we are not actively trying to get pregnant (since my hubby doesn't want kids, like ever. Which is a whole other post, heartache, prayer request in itself.....sigh) but I went off BC because the side affects were getting to be too much. Migraines, pain during you know what, nausea with the start of each new pack (I threw up in my car once). The only good thing about BC was easy periods. Today I am in such pain from cramps I don't even want to get out of bed. I haven't experienced this pain since before we married almost 3 years ago. Hole-y Mole-y. Now with each passing month and 'aunt flow' not only do I have pain, but I can't help with be hurt emotionally. I now think of months in terms of when my due date would be. May be dumb or over-thinking everything, but in the back of my mind is that thought, making me sad. Dumb periods.
Many of you who know us know we were supposed to start trying for a baby this past Christmas. That didn't happen. I don't know what to do. Please keep me and my husband in your prayers since the thought of never being a mom is really breaking my heart. Any advice will also be greatly appreciated :)
5 comments:
:( I'm sorry you don't feel well love. I will pray for Chris and try to send him some "daddy vibes"-you will be such an amazing mommy! Show him this post!! He needs to get on it...literally.
Sorry you don't feel good! :( Hope you're feeling better soon. As for the baby situation- it'll happen sooner or later!
You can stand on Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
God's timing is usually not our timing, but He will work on Chris when the time is right.
That's what happened with Tony & Rachel... She was desperate to have a baby, and when Tony finally came around they found out shortly afterwards that she was already pregnant!
Thanks everyone :)
There was a moment right after we got married that I really wanted a baby. David did not. I remember praying, "Lord, please help us. We both disagree on this and if this is the time we are supposed to have a baby then please work on David's heart, and if this is not the time, then please work on my heart." Well, he worked on my heart and I totally changed my mind! I felt so much peace about it and I knew that if He could change my heart to not want a baby at that time, then why couldn't He change David's heart when the time is right? I still go through this cycle of wanting a baby/not wanting a baby but I know that God has a perfect plan for us better than any plan I could come up with and we will both want a baby when the time is right.
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