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Tuesday, May 31, 2011

the things they don't tell you.

or maybe they did, but you push them to the back of your mind, or you plain choose to forget.

breastfeeding takes a lot of time and energy. especially when your baby wants to eat every hour after 2am for 4 nights in a row.
newborns eat every 2 hours, or every 1.5 if your name is Everett Dean. AND thats counted from when they start eating, and they could take 40 minutes to finish. So if its 9am, and we start nursing, finish at 9:45, he will be ready to eat again at 10:30...
it is truly amazing how a human can function on such little sleep.
"sleep when the baby sleeps": this doesn't happen. it just doesn't. at night, sure. but during the day I need to get stuff done around the house when he's sleeping (which lately hasn't been for very long).
no one tells you the FEAR that comes over you when you become a parent. the first few days we were home I was overwhelmed about simply keeping this little baby alive. I was terrified. I just wanted time to pass so I could know I kept him alive for an extended amount of time. This sounds so nuts to me now, and I am sure its just a baby blues thing.
everyone/everything will make you paranoid about SIDS.
(for me) recovery was harder than actual labor/delivery.
being at home all day is so boring, but theres no time to do anything.
nursing has caused so much paranoia when it comes to going out anywhere. I've been nervous about where to feed him when he gets hungry. we've been to the mall and out to dinner a few times, but I will always feed him before we go and bring a bottle with us. I hope to get more confident in nursing soon so I can just use my cover and not feel embarrassed or like people are staring (but I know they all know what I'm doing).
The love you have for this new person is sooooo sooo SOOOO intense.
Seeing your husband as a father is also intense. these thing will bring you to tears just thinking about them.

one last thing...its all worth it. the pain, the tears, the fear, the frustration, the exhaustion. its all worth it...I can't explain why, it just is.


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Monday, May 30, 2011

First Bath

We gave Everett his first bath when he was a little over a week old. He had just lost his cord. He loves bath time! He gets so relaxed and just looks so wide eyed at us. He is so precious!



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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Reality.

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Chris went back to work today. I have no idea what I will be doing with my time, besides feeding little man every two hours. He eats like clockwork, every two hours night and day.
We had fun having Chris home for two weeks. It went by so fast. We did a lot of lounging and eating. Everyone says I will be starving because I am nursing, but so far I am only very very thirsty all the time. I have a big cup of water next to me at all times and I fill it up hourly.

aw man, he is up. These two hour increments go by so fast. I love that he needs me though. (Chris says I put the mother in smother, I say he is 2 weeks old ;).

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Friday, May 20, 2011

9 Days old

I wanted to get a sock monkey to use in the photos, but Chris loves this Domo he won at the fair last October when we were newly pregnant. It looks a little scary next to my son, like he wants to eat him, but oh well....it'll be cute.


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Everett today you are 9 days old! It has flown by, but also feels like we've had you much longer. My due date was today (5.20.11), but I am so glad we've gotten a little over a week with you.
You love to sleep and eat. A typical newborn right now.
When we left the hospital you weighed 5lbs 13oz, and when we saw your doctor a couple days later you gained 2oz! Yay! She is concerned about jaundice, which we had to get you tested for (again), but the levels aren't too high and we just need to give you sunlight.
Your cord fell off at exactly one week old. It made me cry. I may have to keep it like a crazy lady.
You are nursing so well. I'm so pleased at how we've gotten the hang of that so far. We have also given you expressed milk in a bottle and a pacifier at night, and you have no confusion or issues with the different "nipples".
Everett, your name means "strong", and boy you live up to that. You are such a small peanut, but your neck control and the way you can practically squirm so hard that you roll onto your side amazes me. You are too strong for your own good!
I believe right now you have days and nights mixed up. You sleep all day, I have to wake you to feed you, then at night we are up every hour to nurse. You don't really like sleeping in your bassinet, I think you are a little lonely in there. When I hold you you fall right asleep. Its really precious.
Ev, you are such a sweet boy. You don't hardly fuss about anything. There are those looks you give like, "what are you guys doing to me!", and sometimes I see a little attitude in those looks (thats from your momma). You are pure joy. You are the greatest blessing and the biggest responsibility I will ever, ever receive. Your dad and I love you so very much, these past 9 days have been the best of our lives.

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Monday, May 16, 2011

My Birth Story

(I can't believe I just titled a post that!)


Wednesday, May 10th 2011
It was a normal day. Chris came home early, he had been in training and was supposed to be all week. The week before, he was urging the baby to come. He wanted me to go into labor so badly, but then he found out about this training and wanted it to wait another week. I was fine with that. We went to the mall, Chris had a haircut scheduled there, and walked around for a while. It was a beautiful night, so cool outside for May (its an outdoor mall).
One point I stepped off the curb and thought I wet my pants a little. I didn't think anything of it (besides yuck), but looking back I am sure that was the start of my water leaking.
We got home, where twice I went pee and when I stood up, I kept leaking. Then I ironed one of Chris' work shirts and when I bent over to unplug the iron I felt another trickle. I was so confused. I thought it was pee. It wasn't much, just a small trickle. We googled things like "did my water break or did I pee myself", and "how do you know if your water breaks", only to learn that less than 15% of women actually have their water break naturally, and amnionic fluid is clear and odorless. Well, my pee had been as well. And honestly, it feels a lot like peeing when it comes out.
I had no clue what was going on, but I didn't have any other labor signs. I decided to go to bed, figuring if it was my water the bed would be soaked (I put a towel down).

May 11, 2011
The next morning I woke up to a dry bed and decided to go into work. Once at work, I got by for about an hour before the leaking started again. I stepped out to call the doctors office who of course told me to go right to the hospital. I immediately started bawling. I was so overwhelmed and nervous. I left right away (after a call to my husband) and headed toward the hospital. I was about a mile away when I realized, I need to go home! I had nothing with me, I needed to eat (I was starving and knew the hospital wouldn't let me), I wanted to shower, I didn't want to have 2 cars at the hospital, and the thought of buying groceries even crossed my mind (I didn't go ha). Chris met me at home with McDonalds breakfast and we got our things and left for the hospital.
We arrived around 11am, got checked in and sent to triage. They checked the fluid that was leaking (gross), and did a cervical check where I was 2cm dialated. It was indeed my water! I was so relieved that I wasn't crazy, and that I didn't go to the hospital only to be sent home. My doctor was at the hospital and came and saw me in triage. He explained pitocin to us and said I can get an epidural anytime. I got my IV (not painful whatsoever), signed a ton of paperwork and we were moved to our labor and delivery room.
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I got started on pitocin, since my bag of water had broke and they worry about infection at 24 hours post water breaking. I was terrified of the pitocin. I braced myself for the worst pain of my life (which there wasn't a need to)! My mom came at some point then, and I started watching a Tori and Dean marathon. I was so thrilled they had cable TV, since we don't at home. It was enough to keep me distracted. Then I wanted to move around and start getting this baby out. I was hooked up to mobile monitors and got on the birthing ball and starting pacing the room. Moving really helped the pain (which was still very mild). Once I decided to lay back down, the pain got a lot worse. I was 4.5 hours in at this point, and thought with contractions this painful I was for sure more dilated (they wouldn't check me much for risk of infection. I had only the one check at this point). I decided after about 7 or 8 very painful and close contractions to get my epidural. I knew I was going to have one all along, and I wasn't trying to be a hero by waiting!
Around 4:30, the anesthesiologist came in, and immediately I started shaking. Shaking so very hard. I was so nervous and scared to have the epidural put in. Chris held my hand and I tried to relax. Honestly, I felt nothing. NOTHING. Not the prick from the numbing medicine, not the catheter going into my spine, not the "weird pressure" she told me I would have. NOTHING. At one point I almost ask if she had even done anything yet, but I was afraid her answer would be "no" so I didn't. The next thing I know, I am laying back down, and I did feel the cold medicine going into my back, followed by numbness. HEAVEN, I tell you. Epidurals are heaven!!
My doctor came in after the epidural to check me again. This was the devastating part: I was still a 2. UGH I couldn't believe I got my epidural so early! I felt like a serious wimp! I was relieved to know that when I got my epidural, my pitocin drip was the highest it could be with my doctors order to up it. Which he did. Over the next 4 hours, we had family come hang out and visit with us, I tried to sleep (unsuccessful), and watched more TV. The time in the labor room really flew by for me. I know Chris said it drug on for him, but I was actually enjoying it. At this point I was progressing about 1 cm/hour.
Around 9, all company left. The nurse checked me again, and when she did, I felt a big "pop" (I was 5cm). She said another bag of water broke! At this point, I started feeling more pain through the drugs. I pressed my epidural button to give me some relief, and when I did that, the baby's heart rate dropped. Chris got very scared, and we called in the nurse, who explained that that happend when his head is coming very low in the birth canal. This labor was moving fast, finally!
At 10pm, I was 8 cm!
At 10:30, I was fully dialated and did some pushing with the nurses. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't feel the need to push, but I could feel pressure. It felt like something was trying to come out of me (duh), I don't know how else to explain it. Pushing was so exhausting for me. I could barely hold my breath for the count of 10, and kept apologizing for giving up. They finally gave me oxygen, which help a lot. There were some points where I knew I should push, since I could feel the pressure of his head, but I would keep quiet so I could rest.
Around 11:15ish, they called my doctor to come in (he had left for the night but came back for me, he is awesome!!). About 11:30pm, I was told not to push anymore. I could feel a lot of pressure and I knew his head was right there! I still didn't feel the need to push, it was almost like my body was doing it for me. I was able to relax and wait.
Once the doctor got there, I started shaking again like when I got my epidural. I was terrified and knew this was it! The doctor started to get dressed, and I got so sick to my stomach. Chris was at my head, and I told him I was going to be sick. The nurse put a barf bucket to my face and I started vomiting. The first puke was so violent, it pushed the head out. YES, I puked my son out!
I yelled right away, "his head is out, his head is out!!!", then resumed puking. Chris said the doctor didn't even have his gloves on at this point. The next few throw ups pushed out his body, and I heard him crying. I didn't "see" him be born, because of getting sick, but they put him on my chest and cleaned him up.
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It was amazing, overwhelming, and surreal all at once. Chris cut the cord and they took him to be cleaned. At this point, he was still nameless. We had a short list: Sawyer (my choice), Theodore (Chris' choice), and Everett (kinda mutual). We had thrown Everett around the week before, but Chris never said yes or no. I love the name, and its a bonus that it is Chris' grandpas middle name. The doctor had stitched me up and left, and he was still nameless! Finally after about 30 minutes, we decided on Everett Dean. I love it!

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He was born at 11:48pm on May 11, 2011. He was 12 minutes shy of sharing his birthday with our anniversary. I am glad he got his own day! We celebrated our anniversary as a family of 3 the next day at the hospital. We are so in love with our son. It is truly the greatest blessing of all. He is just so adorable, and looks a lot like his daddy. I often just stare at him, and well up with tears of joy.


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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Introducing



Everett Dean
May 11, 2011
11:48pm
6lbs 4oz
18.5 in

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We are in love!
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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

38 weeks

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We are almost there! I am happy to be done with these self portraits, ugh they are horrible! Manual focus on a tripod is HARD folks! Maybe we will see you at 40 weeks, maybe not!
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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mothers Day!

I've had such an amazing weekend! My husband has been so sweet to me. I know today is not my first real Mothers Day, and I don't feel like a mom yet, but I have been spoiled and loved on by people who see me as one already!
Chris and I will be celebrating our 4th anniversary this Thursday. We got married the day before Mothers Day 4 years ago. This week is so crazy for him at work, and who knows when the baby will come (hopefully not til the weekend...our doctor is out of town!) that he gave me a mothers day/anniversary present yesterday.
I had a photo shoot scheduled in the morning, and then ran a few errands alone, and when I came home I was sent on a little scavenger hunt. He had hid all these items in random parts of the house:

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I've mentioned wanting a Scentsy warmer several times in the past, and he got me two! Not to mention a ton of wax! We love them so far!
Then last night we had some friends over for dinner, and after they left I had an itch to go to the movies. We have passes and who knows when we will be able to use them. So at 10 o'clock we went and saw Water for Elephants. Wow we never do stuff like that, and that is not a movie he would EVER tag along with me to see! I loved it (and the book too), but the end made me bawl. I hate when a movie makes you cry at the very end and then the lights come on and you have to get up and leave crying. I still had tears running down my face when we were in the parking lot.

This morning I got up early (like usual) and Chris says, "theres something in the mattress". So I look under my side of the mattress, and theres a little bag with this in it:


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I had shown him a ring like this online and he picked one out at the store just like it! He is so good to me!

Ok, enough bragging about my husband! He really is the best though :)

Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there! You are blessed!
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Saturday, May 7, 2011

a t-shirt story.

When I was very newly pregnant, like 5 weeks, Chris went out of town. We had only known for one week that we were expecting (although we thought we were farther along than we really were). He was in Salt Lake City for a work training conference, and when I picked him up from the airport after being apart for 4 very long days, he gave me a present:

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This t-shirt. He said, "I can't wait until you are big and pregnant to wear this shirt!" So a couple Saturdays ago, when we were having a VERY lazy day, thats what I did. I wore this shirt and he laughed and laughed. I did too.
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Thursday, May 5, 2011

Making Onesies

I don't sew, but I did have a little fun with some felt, fabric and iron on paper a couple weeks ago (with a little inspiration from Etsy).
Heres what I made for my little man:


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(the tie is from one of Chris' old work shirts)


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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Another shopping trip.

I get excited when I spend save money. Its a little addicting...and our stockpile of things like cereal, toothpaste and pasta are getting a little crazy...but hey, they're free or almost free and will be used.

I went to Frys the other day and this was my loot. It rang up for over $60, and I only spent $15. I thought it was pretty good! My husband doesn't really care when I save money like this, so I thought I'd share about it here :)

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Here are some things we have stocked up. Its nice not to have to worry about buying razors, toothpaste, toliet paper, and paper towels which can be so expensive. My husband DOES like that I get these items for really cheap, he knows they can be pricey, but I guess to him food is food.

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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Finally.

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No, not the flavor. It is a very yummy new flavor, only available at Target...but this is what I've been waiting for:

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My very own food shelf. It comes in handy.
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Sunday, May 1, 2011

Random 37 weeks.

AH! Its MAY!! I am due in May! This is nuts!

Here is a post of random events at 37 weeks. Ready? go.

This feels about right:
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Most days I can still see my feet. Most days :)

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I am officially waddling. Its cool. I totally know what they say about having a "bowling ball" between your legs.

I can still eat, and eat, and eat. My hunger never goes away, and never feels satisfied. Its surprising that I've only gained 25lbs (well, I will find out tomorrow at the Dr. afternoon if thats still right, but their scale is more evil than the one at home).

I have contractions often. Most of the time they hurt, but only in my low belly.

Still no stretch marks (knock on wood. I didn't even want to write this down for fear of jinxing myself!!)

We are 100% ready for the baby. Car seat base in the cars, diapers/wipes stocked, swing up in the living room, pack in play in our room, hospital bag packed, clothes washed and lots more!!

I am not really nesting yet. My husband wishes I would start because that would mean a cleaner house :)

Sleeping is still good. When I have to get out of bed to use the restroom (only once a night) or turn over, my hips ache severely and it makes moving in my sleep hard. Other than that, I can sleep through anything. I prefer to sleep on my back too, I know thats not recommended, but its more comfy for me. When I sleep on my side he kicks at the mattress all night.

I still like being pregnant. I am a crazy emotional woman right now but its ok. I have hardly anything to complain about.

He will come in perfect timing. He can take his time, but please don't make me wait TOO long!
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Thursday, April 28, 2011

Olivia is married!

My sister in law is married! I couldn't be happier for her and her new hubby, Mike!

They had a gorgeous wedding this past weekend, and a fabulous party afterward, complete with me getting down on the dance floor. Yes I am 9 months pregnant. And no, it did absolutely nothing to make the baby budge. I don't even think I got a contraction from it.

The beautiful bride!

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Aunt Olivia and the baby, and me!

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My sisters in law, mother and law, and niece. Such pretty women!

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Me and my Chris.

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Getting down...Cotton Eye Joe. My request.
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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

As of late.

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photo was taken at 35 weeks

Man. I just haven't felt like myself lately. I'm beyond tired at moments, and other moments I am fine. Some days I am happy and other days watch out. Little miss grumpy pants takes over.
I hate this. I hate that how I feel and my moods are so drastic. I feel crazy most days! (sometimes I think I am going crazy).
I think if I were to sum up these last 4 weeks of pregnancy it would be: PMS. I feel like how I would the week before my period comes: annoyed, grouchy, tired, crampy, weepy and irritable.
Can I just make an announcement now to apologize to everyone for this?? I want to be a sweet girl again too. I'm sorry if I haven't been.

Last night and today I was having some serious pain. My whole belly ached so bad, and I was having serious menstrual like cramps. They were mainly in my lower back and legs. I didn't keep track of the contractions, because it really hurt! I am now officially worried about myself and my pain tolerance. How am I going to do this?? I'm freaking out. Yikes.


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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

New baby photo!

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(our son, 34 weeks, profile, making a kissy/sucky mouth)

Last week I was a "model" for some ultrasound students at the hospital I am delivering at. I found out about it through my birthing class.

I thought it would be a great chance to get one last look at the baby before we meet him! I was so grateful to see his face. although it was a very fast ultrasound, and the students just had to find and measure his heartbeat, which seemed very easy for everyone since he is so big and his back is right up against my belly. I was SO excited when the first girl put the wand very low on my belly and said, "head". Phew! He is head down (hopefully for good??). I have been having a hard time figuring out what body part I am feeling, and to know his feet were on my left side, back on the right, head and hands down low makes me feel like I know whats going on in there!

They got a really good look at his face for me. He had his hands in his mouth the whole time, except for one moment they were out and he was sucking and searching for them! It was so sweet. He looks like he has big lips.

One thing that freaked me out was they kept saying "her" and "she" when referring to the baby. Finally, I asked for them to make sure I am still having a boy. They looked, there's no doubt its actually a "he"!

I think since last week he has flipped, not upside down but definitely switched sides. I noticed after the ultrasound his hiccups were always on my right (just that week, they haven't always been) but then, driving in the car last night I felt a big movement, it took my breath away (ok I screamed :). Then about an hour later, his hiccups were on my left. I just hope his head stays down!
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Tuesday, April 19, 2011

maternity photos

My brother took this for us when I was 32 weeks. I think I want some more when I am huge and big, is that nuts?




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